Lunch with Friends

There is nothing that will clear the work-day fog from my brain quicker then having lunch with friends. Although sometimes expensive, meeting friends for lunch is one of my all-time favorite week-day things to do.

If I know that I have a lunch date planned with a friend(s) it starts my whole day off brighter and more positive. I come to work happier, I am more productive and I come back from lunch in a better mood than I typically do in the afternoons on a normal day.

There is also something to be said from an impromptu lunch date. What a terrific surprise to get a call or an email from a friend asking to have lunch together! "What are you doing for lunch?" "Nothing. You?" "Nothing...wanna meet in 30 at La Bou?" Ah...sheer bliss!

Perhaps in order to curb some of the cost, I should start have lunch picnics with friends...we both bring our lunch to work as we normally would and then find a neutral spot to meet and dine on our bag lunches...

The joy is in the company and the conversation, not the purchase of the food! Ok, I take that back...I think anyone who knows me knows how much I love food...

Anyway, the point is I want to have lunch with friends more often (but not break the bank) and keep the joy and productivity at an all time high in my life! Lets do lunch sometime...

Settling In

Wow, it has been a long time since I have posted! Then again, things have been a little busy for me. I mean, we finally closed escrow on our house, moved into our house, bought a puppy, had Thanksgiving, Derek was in trial and it goes on and on and on...I think things are finally settling down now.

So which of these changes has been the hardest? Hands down: Miss Cali Posey Haynes.

Which one of these changes has given us the most joy? Hands down: Miss Cali Posey Haynes...she is the best. She is so fun, so active, so full of love and joy....she brightens my day every single time I see her. She loves completely, unconditionally and is full of forgiveness! Don't get me wrong, she is a hand full. We have had our moments filled with frustration and anger, but as with every new family addition, they are worth it!

Moving into our own house has been such a surreal experience. I remember back, just 7ish short months ago when Derek and I got married and moved in together. Sending him off to work was as surreal experience. Now, waking up inside our very own house, with a bubbly puppy and sending him off to work is a surreal experience. It is amazing how life just creeps up on you and all of the sudden you are living it to the fullest and you don't even know how you got there!

Our house is amazing. Although we have had our struggles with it (invasion of the ants, power outlets that don't work, gaps in the fence etc) this house is more than I could have EVER imagined...cooking in my own kitchen, inviting my friends over and hosting in my own living room...it is enough to make a girl giddy. I don't get giddy very often.

Husband+House+Happy Puppy=Happy & Content Janna

They call me "The Examiner"

So remember a few blogs back when I wrote about Embarking on a New Adventure? Well, my adventure has begun.

Nearly three weeks ago I responded to a post on craigslist for a "Relationship Writer" on Examiner.com. The Examiner is an online news, entertainment, and advice source that is nation-wide. They have local entities that are powered by local writers like me in 240 cities across the country.

Once I went through the application process and submitted a writing sample I was approved to join their team as the Sacramento Conflict Resolution Examiner. I published my first article, "Learn the love language." the following Monday. Once my first article was approved and went "live" I now have the freedom to post whenever I want and can post content of my liking under the scope of "conflict resolution" and more importantly; relationships.

So....what does this all mean? It means I am trying to build up my writing portfolio, polish up my skills and expand my knowledge and network of this business called writing. It is going to be up to me to market my article at Examiner.com and increase my page views, article subscriptions and feedback. This could become a money-making venture for me if I put in the work. More importantly, I need to produce read-worthy articles to keep people coming back.

I welcome your feedback, suggestions and anything you know about marketing my article to the outside world. Also, I hope you'll read it...

Ultimately, I am not sure what the final destination is, but I am looking forward to the journey.

Giants fans UNITE!

As we sit 2 hours from the first pitch of the World Series I can't help but chuckle at the SF Giants FEVER that has hit this city. HECK, this half of our STATE. Northern California is starving for a champion, for a Cinderella story. It has been a few years since any of our major sports franchises have reached the big one. Both the Oakland Raiders and the Giants made it to their respective "big ones" in 2002, before that we had the glory years of the Sacramento Kings. I was just a kid when the 49ers were in their hayday. I hear rumors of the Oakland A's being good once, at least every time you get in an argument with an A's fan they say "championship" because that is all they have to say....maybe this year we'll have a little something to throw back at 'em!

Anyway, my point WAS, even those who wouldn't have considered themselves Giants fans, or even really baseball fans have jumped on the Giants winning the World Series bandwagon. Typically, I am not cool with fare whether fans partaking in the glory of a winning team that they have not lived and died with all season. HOWEVER, in this case, I am going to say "GIANTS FANS: UNITE!"

The Gigantes need all the juju they can get and you know what? It is freakin fun to see post after post on facebook on a game day. It is fun to see people with their colors on, people wearing hats and eye black and girls with cute little girl Giants shirts on. I know that I can barely concentrate at work today, hence this blog post...I can't wait to get home tonight and hopefully watch them take Game 1. If they don't, well...tomorrow will be even MORE important. This is our year, I can feel it. Can't you feel it?

I have a fever and the only cure is A WORLD SERIES RING!!

Reflections: Looking back at 6 months of marital bliss

Not to get mushy on you but today marks 6 months of marriage for the Haynes'. I have never been a "monthly anniversary" celebrator....I just don't see the point, but today I have some thoughts I want to pen down, or I suppose, in this case type down.

For anyone who has known Derek and I any length of time, you know that not only did we date for YEARS ( I mean, like a lot of years) before we got married, but we also did not live together before we got married. I think that in this day and especially for our age, that is pretty rare. However, I think that has made these last six months that much sweeter for us.

There is something to be said for the discovery of your partner in day to day life. I didn't know exactly what Derek's habits were early in the morning when getting ready for work. I didn't know how he slept every night, how he snoozes his alarm 2-3 times each morning and how he turns on the shower before he shaves his face at the sink.

Derek didn't know that I never snooze my alarm (or maybe he did because I make disparaging comments about snoozing all the time) that I apparently talk nonsense in my sleep (I didn't know that either) or that I throw elbows when I sleep (I guess we need a bigger bed).

These are all non-starter parts of our lives (except the elbow throwing, that is serious) but I am just making a point; there are so many things that even 8 years of dating didn't teach us about one another.

Something I didn't expect about living together? How sweet our evenings together would be. How fun it is to be home making dinner for Derek when he gets home from a long day. How appreciative he is when he comes home to a clean house and clean laundry. How even though I am not the greatest cook in the world, he loves it when I try and make something new.

Things that are special to me after 6 months of marriage:
When he brings me a cup of coffee in the bathroom each morning while I get ready before he leaves in the morning.
When I wake up with an Afro of a hair-do he makes a silly comment like, "Stay back boys, she's all mine"
When I cook dinner, he races to the kitchen to clean up the dishes after we eat.
On the rare nights that I get home later than he does, there are always comfy clothes laid out on the bed for me and a glass of wine poured.
That most weekends we do the grocery shopping and the laundry together.
That he sends me random "I love you darlin" texts during the day
That whenever I am gone from the house, he sends me "What are you doing? What is your status?" texts...
That he always calls when he is on his way home
That whenever I walk in the door he says, "There's my wife"
That we still can laugh together about the dumbest things...like me falling, hitting my knee on the coffee table, or him making a "law situation" out of everything
Our dinner date nights together
Our yogurt runs
The fact that we can still do things with our friends, separately
When we do things with our friends together
That we make time to get together with our parents and my brothers family
That he is my greatest supporter and he encourages me to step out in faith into uncharted territories and follow my dreams
That he make me a better person, every day
That together we try and be a blessing to those around us

There is no one I would rather face trials with, no one who makes me happier, no one that I feel safer with, no one who can make me laugh more and no one who I would rather spend the rest of my life with than Derek. I love you Derek.

Being a better friend

I was inspired this week by a blog post I read that challenged women, in particular, to do a better job of understanding each other in each other's different walks of life. It struck a chord with me because I have friends in various stages of life; single, dating, married, married with kids, single with kids, divorced, divorced with kids....

Every person has their own unique situation and their own life circumstances. No one has a full understanding of another person's life circumstances and frankly, it seems sometimes that no one cares to try and figure it out. After reading that blog post I had to stop and ask myself, "Do I do a good job of being understanding of other people's challenges? Do I reach out to my friends even when they don't reach out to me?"

I was ashamed to answer NO to both questions...at least most of the time. It is so easy sometimes to just hang with the friends who are like me; in a relationship or married and kid free. How can I possibly understand what it is like to have children? How can I possibly understand what it is like to be a SINGLE parent? Well, I could certainly do a better job of offering friendship to my friends who are in that place in their life.

So what if they are busy? So what if I am busy? Does that exempt me from picking up the phone and giving them a call? Does that mean I cannot go to their house when they cannot go out for the evening?

Today I made the first step in a new resolution to be a better friend and to make an effort to understand what life is like outside of the bubble I live in. One of my friends who has children invited me to come watch her daughter's soccer game. In the past I would have likely declined because my Saturdays are precious time to me. I either need that time to run errands, house clean or simply spend time to Derek if neither one of us is working.

However, I realized that the time requirement would only be about an hour, I loved playing soccer as a kid and I love my friends. I would have time to see Derek when I got home. She was making an effort to reach out to me, which she did not have to do. Was it so hard for me to meet her half way and come to the place she was already going to be? I could see how SHE spent HER Saturdays.

So I went. I am glad I did. It was nice to watch the kids run around, it was nice to see a friend I don't see often and it was nice to take part in the lives of her children. We may not be as close as we once were, but I will always be there for her and I want her to know that. It isn't likely that we will ever be walking step by step in life again. However, I don't think that means that we can't take a walk in this life together every once in a while.

There aren't many friends that you can hang onto for a lifetime so when you find one, do everything in your power to understand them, to love them and to reach out to them. Time is precious, but friendship supersedes all time.

I could use a little humor

Seems like work goes through the same 'ol phases week after week...I'll have a good week at work followed up by a frustrating, stressful week. One week I am loving my job, the next week I am searching Craig's list for a new opportunity...

Needless to say, I could use a good laugh...unfortunately it comes at the expense of myself...of course.

So the last several weeks I have acquired 5 or 6 bites on my body. They are either spider bites or some sort of bug (dare I say "bed bug"). Now, because of these bites, I get into bed and lie awake feeling like I have spiders of bugs crawling in my sheets. I DO have restless leg syndrome, which cause me to feel like I have ants constantly crawling up and down my legs, but this is different, TRUST ME.

I realize this is irrational and unlikely....however, where did the bites come from?! My husband is so ashamed of me...and I think that he thinks I am going insane...I check my sheets before I get in them and they appear harmless, but now I am not sleeping at night....what am I going to do?

Welcome Fall, I've been waiting for you

I absolutely LOVE this time of year. I love the chill in the air, I love scarves, gloves, hats, boots, jeans and blankets. I love hot tea, fires, warm beds and hot showers.

I am ready to travel to Apple Hill and buy pie, cider and apples (maybe even wine taste??) I can't wait to drive up to Tahoe and see the snow, maybe even ski a little.

Falling leaves, overcast skies and a drizzle in the air...these are a few of my favorite things. How can anyone not love Fall in Northern California?

My favorite fall activities:

• Apple Hill
• Wine Tasting
• Walking (don't judge me)
• Motorcycle riding
• Watching Football
• This year: Watching the SF Giants in the post-season ;)
• Trying new baking recipes
• Also this year: Moving into my first house

Embarking on a new adventure

Well, this blog was the first step in what I hope to be a long-lived adventure of writing extravaganzas! I can't say I have found a brand new love of writing, because I have always loved it, but I suppose that I could say I have found new inspiration, new support and a fresh wave of courage to take a step I have always wanted to.

I am going to see if I can expand on this writing thing and take it to a new level. What that MEANS exactly, I am not sure, but it does mean I am going to hang myself out there a bit, open myself up to be rejected, criticised, turned away....and maybe... accepted as a good writer.

I am currently exploring potential avenues to take my new found courage and seeing what options are available to me such as online writing contests, freelance opportunities, story submissions etc...

Perhaps even one day I shall write a book...would you read it?

I know that I may never find success, but I also know that I love to write and that even the act of writing is love to me and that is enough. If I can find success in the process of doing something I already love, then I have succeeded twice. If I don't try, than I will never know and I may miss perhaps the greatest opportunity of all.

After I am gone...Let It Be Said

After I am gone from this world let it be said...

That I loved without limits
That I served without thanks
That I listened without talking
That I hugged without knowing
That I prayed without ceasing

After I am gone from this world let it be said...

That I showed compassion to those who were without
That I heard the cries of those who couldn't speak
That I gave of myself when there was nothing in return
That I looked for the lost so that they might be found
That I listened to my heavenly Father in my darkest days

After I am gone from this world let it be said...

That I was a friend to the friendless
That I was a lighthouse to the drifting
That I was hope to the hopeless
That I was joy in midst of the pain
That I shared pain in midst of the sorrow

As I walk into the arms of my Father in heaven let it be said...

That I loved deeply, laughed often and lived life as God intended me to live it. That I loved my neighbor as myself and I loved God with my whole heart, my whole mind, with all my soul and with all my strength.

Amen

Seeing things from the wrong perspective

Perspective is a funny thing, it can drastically alter the opinion and memory of a situation or an event versus someone else at the same event or in the same situation who saw it from a different perspective.

Today I had a big event at work...The "Super Bowl" of events at one of my radio stations as my GM likes to put it. For the first time the details and planning of this event fell squarely and solely on my shoulders. Have you ever been in one of those situations where if it goes well it is a win for the whole group but if it goes badly it is your fault and only your fault? That is this event...

There were other people involved with various aspect of selling sponsorships into the event and another person in charge of sending out invitations and getting people TO the event and my job was the make the event happen.

So the big day comes, I am awake at 4:45am...I think I jumped out of bed the second I heard my alarm go off...I was just waiting for it. I rushed through my morning prep, grabbed my coffee and flew out the door. As I entered my event room I was struck by the eerie silence that signaled I was the first to arrive...I knew I would be, but I had hoped I would be wrong and another co-worker would meet me there and offer support...That was just the beginning of a series of views I took from the wrong perspective today.

As people began to arrive, co-workers, sponsors and our guests of honor, our Pastors, I was rushing around answering questions, putting out "fires" finishing off last minute details, it seemed to me that every person in the room was incompetent except me...wp(wrong perspective)

The clock was creeping near 8am and our seats were not as full as I would have liked them...where were all the people? I looked around at our sponsors...a few had frowns on their faces, which immediately screamed to me that they were PISSED and obviously I was to blame...I saw our corporate representative whispering in the corner with our General Manager, obviously they were talking about when to fire me and hire in my replacement...WP

Finally the program starts and I can take a reprieve from my idiotic thoughts, sit down and survey the scene for real.

• Our seats were nearly full
• Our sponsors (by the way, there were more sponsors than EVER at this event) had nice looking displays and good information to offer people
• The food was being distributed on time and quickly
• Our entertainment was preforming in the background and created a nice ambiance
• Our Pastors were chatting with their table mates, drinking coffee, eating food and smiling
• There didn't appear to be a fire in sight....

As our event progressed and wrapped up and I once again sprang into action I was stopped again and again by co-workers, Pastors and sponsors who complimented me, our event and said they would see us next year...so why was I so negative? If I had been a casual observer, say, a Pastor who attended our event, everything was P-E-R-F-E-C-T...no problems and not a hitch in the program. They got a goodie bag, a free breakfast, a good teaching, a chance to meet and greet fellow Pastors and, if they wanted, an opportunity to expose themselves to the useful resources that our sponsors were offering.

So I examined myself and asked, "If the people who this event is intended for are happy, content and taken care of, why am I so intent on finding fault around every corner?" I determined that I was viewing our event from the wrong perspective, as the "event planner", which is, of course, what I do but doesn't give me an excuse to tear down the good in our event.

First of all, immediately getting bummed that no one was there when I arrived was irrational. I arrived 45 minutes before I had asked my staff to arrive, what did I expect? Pre-determining that every person in the room was incompetent because they needed to ask me questions...slightly over the top. If you recall, I am the EVENT PLANNER...I had all the details, all the answers and all the specifics...I suppose it was only natural that people were going to ask me questions if I expected them to help me do ANYTHING. Also, I am pretty sure our GM and Corporate Rep were NOT planning my demise as I had envisioned...

Anyone who attended our event today will remember the event as a well put together, relaxing and rejuvenating time.

I already mentioned that the event turned out great and I am vastly relieved...but at the same time, it reveled a lot to me about myself and a bit about what I need to change in my life. I don't need to turn into Polly Sunshine and only view life through rose-colored glasses, but I do need to realize that not everyone is stupid, not everything is against me, I am not ALWAYS working alone, sometimes things do turn out OK and if I let things play out, typically they work out alright...

Goodbye Debby Downer, you are not welcome here anymore

Lord, please forgive me, it has been 7 days since my last entry

I really fell off the blog wagon this week, I apologize, being that I know SO many of you count on my informative, witty and often emotionally charged entries. {{Sarcasm duley noted I hope}} I will try and not let that happen again. This week has been crazy, in a work related way and when I get home at night, all I want to do is fall into a deep slumber...

That said, my fingers have been itching for the opportunity to release some pent up aggression and so I comply to their stubbornness...it is funny though, I am not even sure what I want to say, but the simple act of putting my thoughts down on paper (even virtually) release such a joy in my spirit, that it almost doesn't matter!

My thoughts today though are swirling with controversy brought on by a conversation I recently had...it all comes down to this thought: Is what I do for a living what I am meant to be doing?

Please don't confuse "meant to be doing" with:

• Happy
• Satisfied
• Content
• Enjoyable
• Long-term

This isn't just a question I am asking myself, but a question I encourage you to ask yourself. I think that so many of us get caught doing whatever it is that we are doing for a living because...

• We have a degree in it


• It pays well


• We have been there too long to quit


• We don't want to burn a bridge


• It is too hard to start over


• We thought it was what we were "meant" to do

If we were all honest with ourselves I think we would admit that the number one reason we don't pursue our secret dreams is because we are plain scared that it won't work out and we don't believe enough in ourselves...furthermore we may not have the love and support of someone else who believes in us (maybe because you have never shared your REAL dreams with anyone close to you).

If bills were not a factor and you could do whatever you wanted to do with your life, what would you do? If you could get the schooling, get the training, find the right job, take that first step...what would you do in order to be happy every day when you go to work?

I challenge you, along with myself, to think about it...it may not be possible for everyone, because bills and money ARE a factor in life, and not everyone has access to schooling, training and unlimited job selection in order to pursue their dreams, but do you even know?

I think it is important for all of us to know what we want and what we would do if we had the opportunity. For some of us we'll get a chance to create that opportunity for ourselves. It is also important to delegate a person in your life that you can share your dreams with that can support you in your efforts to discover who is it that you are meant to be.

I am on a mission now, in the happiest and most content time in my life, to find out who I am meant to be. Will you join me?

God please don't let her snort tonight...

So tonight marks a little milestone in my relationship with Derek...I am attending my first official "work-function" with him and his co-workers...

I am fairly positive that he is WAY more nervous about it than I am. I think I am pretty funny, witty and easy to get along with on a night by night basis (I have often said I am not a generally friendly person, but I mean I don't just bring people into my inner circle for the fun of it). More importantly, I converse easily with strangers and I ALWAYS get along well with those who are significantly older than me, so I should be a hit with the partners!

I think his single worst fear is that I might laugh so hard that I snort...yes, SNORT out loud...Most of you have probably NEVER heard me do that because it does not happen often. In fact, it rarely happens in front of ANYONE other than Derek...Actually I think he makes it up...

Anyway, we'll see how it goes!! I think it will be fine and I am looking forward to it. After all, he married me fully knowing who I am and how I act and that eventually he would have to take me out in public...will he regret it tonight?

Who has the over?

The hustle, the hassle, the heartache

Man, life has been going a MILE A MINUTE the last few weeks and there is no slow motion in sight until at least October....work has been ridiculous, home has been busy and the outside world has just been confusing and a little bit sad...

I have faced a few challenges at work in the last few weeks that have left me questioning my career, my sanity and my ability to keep my mouth shut in a volatile situation. I have never been one to walk away from a situation, even at its worst, but wow...Friday night I came close. If you read my entry from Friday morning, you read how absolutely desperate I was with pleading for mercy...the pain I was in was unbearable and I couldn't work the rest of the day in that state.

Fortunately God heard my cry and healed my headache pain. Unfortunately I proceeded to have one of the worst work events/situations that I can remember in recent history. I came within 2 minutes of walking off the job site and saying "Screw It" (and perhaps violating some major HR rules). I came home in a foul mood and was angry about it all weekend...I think I have mentioned before that under no circumstances do I feel like my job should ever follow me home. I do NOT have that kind of job...it is not critical and it should not have that effect on my personal life. That said, I take it personally when a job I am involved in is not executed right, my fault or not....so I stewed...

That compounded on top of a busy weekend and news that an old friends father had passed away...the weekend wasn't what I thought it was going to be. When I learned my friends father had passed away I was obviously saddened by the news, but furthered saddened because I have not been in contact with her in several months, nor did I have any way to contact her. I couldn't even offer her my condolences...it is funny...the Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

The exact same evening that I learned of her father's death I log onto facebook and there in my friend request inbox is a friend request from her....wow. SO I accept the request and write her a message telling her that I had heard, I was so sorry to hear and if she needed me...I was here for her. She lives in another state, but her father lived here so I knew she would likely be here. Turns out I was right...she is here and gave me the funeral info. I think I am going to attend. I know that may seem weird considering our current friendship, but she was one of my best friends growing up. Regardless of the current state of our friendship, I want to be someone who people know they can count on...someone that a friend can come to when they need support, when they need love, when they need to talk or when they need prayer.

I have learned in the past and from experience watching my parents that it may not always work as a two way street. When you offer yourself up for the taking, sometimes that is all that happens, you get taken, and taken, and taken...but I have made the decision that I am created to be a giver of life, a giver of love and a giver of support to those who are in need of it. I will get my love and support from my own sources and turn and give to others...I believe that is one of the gifts God has given me and I am prepared to use it. He will equip me for whatever task He calls me to...whatever the cost.

Jesus please have mercy on me

Today is a migraine day. If you don't experience migraines, you don't have a CLUE what that means...you might think you do, but trust me, you don't...

If you DO experience migraines, you know what I mean. I woke about about 5am and thought, "No, not today... I don't have time for this today...I have a 13 hour work-day and I can't afford to be blinded by pain and throwing up at work"

Not the best way to wake up in the morning...The pain at 5am couldn't compete with the pain I felt at 10am...It is now 12:16pm and I am reaching for the trash can... I have 9 hours left in my day and that is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

This is where the battle of wills comes in...My co-workers are telling me to go home and lay down before my event tonight. I am looking at my list of "to-do" before I leave the office to head to my event and thinking...there is no way; this stuff should get done. It is a three day weekend. If I don't do it now it has to wait until TUESDAY...then I remember, my job isn't that big of deal and if I don't lay down now...tonight at 6pm I will be crying at my event.

However, I made a decision a long long time ago when my migraines were a steady part of my life that I wasn't going to let them rule my life. They weren't going to guide my steps and they weren't going to rule my day. I won't let them bring me down. They may force me to SLOW down, but I won't stop.

So as I sit at my computer, in my office, looking forward at the rest of my day with the pain radiating behind my eyes and all through my skull, all I can say is, "Jesus, please have mercy on me today and get me through this day, I want to be able to do my job to the best of my ability, but I can't take this anymore"

Babies all over the place!!

Two of my friends have beautiful baby girls in the last week. There is nothing like holding a precious newborn baby in your arms and realizing how fragile and detailed life is. I am constantly amazed at the wonder that is new life. How can a little person really grow inside of another person and come out so perfectly? How can anyone who has ever had a child, held a child or seen a child not believe in God?

As I held new baby Chloe I literally had to hold back tears at how precious she was. Though not my child, I felt such an instant love for her. Knowing that I am going to see her grow up, see her walk, see her go through school....hopefully one day see her get married and maybe have babies of her own.

As I have written before, I am not quite ready to have my own baby yet, but as I watch Derek lovingly hold Chloe I couldn't help but feel so blessed to know that when we DO have kids, they'll be in such wonderful and capable hands. Derek is going to be such an amazing father and I thank God every day that I have been blessed with him in my life. There is no one I would rather have my children with, or raise my children with.

Little baby Brantingham was born early this morning after a stubborn attempt to stay in the womb. She looks so perfect in every way, although I haven't seen her in person. Little precious B does not have a name yet, but I am anxiously awaiting her name...Hannah has such a gift for names...her other children are named Zion, Elijah and Serenity...hard to top those,but I know she will rise to the occasion! Little baby B little JUST like her big sister Serenity...cute little nose and tons of curly hair!!

Anyway...here are a few pictures of the new baby girls...enjoy God's creative hand

What If....

We are not supposed to live in the land of "What If" Trying to imagine what life would have been like IF or IF ONLY will only drive you crazy....but sometimes I can't help but wonder...

What if I had never went to college?

What if I had gotten my Masters?

What if I had dropped out of high-school?

What if I had never played sports?

What if I knew how to speak a second language?

What if I had traveled the world after high-school?

What if I never learned how to drive a car?

What if I drove motorcycle?

What if I loved meat and hated veggies?

What if I was allergic to potatoes?

What if I had never been laid off from CBS?

What if I had never left Leatherbys?

What if I had never started at Leatherbys?

What if I was blind?

What if I was deaf?

What if I had never met you?

What if I had never met God?

What if I didn't know God's love?

What if YOU didn't know God's love?

Just for the joy of writing

Part of my blogging aspirations are to read the inspirational blogs of others...there are so many outlets now for people to blog and I thoroughly enjoy reading other people's thoughts. It may seem a bit strange, considering that more often than not, I don't even know the person. However, I think that anyone can be inspired by anything, at anytime... I want to be inspired.

Yesterday, there was an article in the Sacramento Bee about a girl who took a cooking class with her husband as one of the many items that she can now cross off of her "Pre-baby-bucket list". The article linked to her blog and I found myself reading page after page of this woman's thoughts...

It was funny because I could tell just by reading her writing, that we would be great friends...sure we have a lot of surface life common:

She is in her 20's

She is in the PR industry

She is married

She obviously likes to write

She doesn't have any kids

But I could tell through her writings, but even more through her description of herself, that we would have been friends in high-school, sat next to each other in our public relations courses in college and then we would probably have coffee every two weeks or so. I don't know if our friendship would go deeper because our husbands would need to be compatible...

I say all that because I think that writing gives a small path into the mind, the heart...the inner most thoughts. I have shared some pretty deep things thus far:

Frustrations

Excitement

Sadness

Love

You know anyone can read this, anyone in the world...I have chosen to open myself up for criticism (I say: bring it...and you have) Sometimes I might not be funny, I might not be interesting I might be completely boring or irrelevant...or I might not be. Have you ever read something that had nothing to do with you that sent shivers down your spine?

That is the kind of passionate writing that I someday want to be inspired to write. If only because I am writing from my heart to your heart...maybe someday they will meet here, in my thoughts.

Sadness, denial, acceptance...rejoice!

Well, to update everyone on the "house issue" I have to first start by saying that I had come to a place of complete acceptance that we were walking away from the house. The builders would not meet us on our terms and Derek and I agreed that we would not risk moving forward on their terms. As our very wise marriage counselor once told us, "It doesn't matter if you make good decisions or bad decisions, as long as you make them in agreement"

Well, we agreed that as much as we loved this house, we needed to be smart about the purchase. So as we were leaving town Friday to go camping, we made one last stand, they have to meet us on our terms or we will have to walk away. We did so with heavy hearts, because we loved this house. It possessed everything we want in a house and we were going to have to leave it behind...

I am a person who, as "christianese" as it may sound, believes that God has a plan and sometimes His ways are not our ways. I know that what we may see as a closed door sometimes results in Him opening us up to something better than we had imagined for ourselves. Sometimes it is just different, but it is exactly what He planned. It was in this mindset that I chose to accept the fact that the problems that we were having with this builder and the purchase of our "dream home" were God's way of telling us that this was not His plan.

So with a sad but accepting heart, I choose to say, "Ok God, You know what I want, but I am not sure what You want...so I am going to trust that You have a plan and I will follow You where ever you end up leading us..."

We returned from our camping trip on Sunday and had an empty promise of a new contract from the builder saying they would fulfill our wishes, but we had yet to actually see that new contract, so we weren't sure if we were going to get the house. Derek decided that we either needed to make this happen today, or we needed to finally walk away and put it behind us so that we could move on.

We drove down to the development on Sunday afternoon and sat there, texting and talking on the phone with the sales agent and the rep on site until we had every specification written in the contract that we needed to be comfortable. We were able to walk away with the right contract in hand, sign it today (Monday), have our realtor sign it and turn it in this afternoon...

We bought our dream home today. I don't know what God was doing, maybe He just wanted our trust, maybe there are lessons yet to be learned, but God knew the desires of our heart and this time...the answer was yes.

The Waiting Game

So on Saturday we put in an offer on a nice house in West Sacramento. I think we are pretty excited about the possibility of getting this house, but of course, we are waiting to hear back about the final details being approved. The waiting game is not fun and I am in anxiety HELL...

I have successfully made it through nearly two full work days without incident, but if I have to go through another entire day tomorrow...it won't be pretty. If you are going to tell me no, then just do it. Please...let me move on with my life instead of keeping me in suspense...
We have other options, this is just our FIRST option....

Earlier today on my Twitter update I likened this waiting game to having your fingers cut off one by one... I still feel like it is a fairly accurate assessment...completely unnecessary, unfair and just plain MEAN....

So I wait...As I try and waste another hour...hour and a half of the work day, in which I have lost ALL ability to concentrate while I stare mercilessly at my phone waiting for it to ring, I Blog...I hope you now feel the same sense of anxiety that I feel....waiting for the post when I tell you whether our offer was accepted or rejected...

Let's be honest...you probably aren't exactly having an anxiety attack over this, but if you read this and haven't heard the update...pray for me... I need seriously heavenly intervention!!

Happy Birthday Derek

Today is Derek, my wonderful and loving husbands, 28th birthday. Although Derek goes out of his way to make everyone else feel like the most special person in the world on THEIR birthday, he would prefer to have his go unnoticed...fat chance. Everyone should be celebrated. Every person deserves to have the people who love them rally around them and let them know how grateful they are that God made them and placed them in their lives.

I know that I am eternally grateful that God made Derek and chose ME as his life partner. I am grateful for Derek every single day and could not imagine life without him. I have never known another person who is so thoughtful and specifically caring in my life. To the untrained eye, Derek may not come across that way, but if you have ever been on the receiving end of Derek's thoughtfulness, you know what I am talking about. He pays attention to what people like, what they want, what they need and he fulfills those likes/wants/needs to the best of his ability.

Derek always knows what I want for my birthday, for Christmas or for any other gift giving occasion. He pays attention and takes mental notes...it is amazing his recollection ability. We always joke that he can tell me what I ate at any given restaurant we go to the last 5 times...except it isn't a joke, he really can...

Unfortunately for him, I do not have the gift of thoughtfulness that he does...I am always searching my brain when it comes to what to get him for gifts...maybe that is because when he wants something, he just buys it...but still, I wish I could be more like Derek. Well, hopefully my present this year will be well received (although I may get a lecture for the $$ spent, even though he spends WAY more on me every holiday....he is the double standard KING)

Derek, Happy Birthday... I love you and I hope that we are still celebrating birthdays together when we are turning 98...ok maybe 88 because 98 is pretty freakin old and our physical and mental faculties will probably be gone by then....

Peaks & Valleys

It is funny how life goes through so many peaks and valleys...and in such a short period of time. One day I am elated with life, the next I am seemly depressed. Not in a "chemically out of balance" way, but a "life is always throwing curve balls" kind of way.

House hunting is a perfect example. One day I am STOKED that we have an apt to look at 5 homes in one day, the next day I am down that we didn't find the house, in fact, we seemed to have regressed in our progress...I am not getting my hopes up, only trying to be realistic. We are picky and getting picky-er.

Or take my Saturday; for example. GREAT NEWS, we get free tickets to go to the UFC fights in Oakland. I am ridiculously excited to be there LIVE...what happens? I come down with a migraine...of course I am going to power through it. I won't let it bring me down. Only it did, in the form of me throwing up on our way home from the searing pain in my head that I had been trying to control for 5 hours. Granted I made it all the way through the fights, which was awesome...AND I managed to control my temper when the SUPER annoying and drunk girl behind me was screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs at Anderson Silva...not good for my headache. I nearly swung at her, but I wasn't into getting Derek kicked out of the building or into a bloody fight with whatever tool was with that girl...

Needless to say, the night didn't end how we had hoped, but we had a good time anyway. Peaks and Valleys...

It happens at work every day. Today I wrote an order for PAID commercial spots...which means I make commission on it, which is pretty awesome considering I didn't have to do anything for the business, they contacted me! But I will confess, I am waiting for something terrible to happen here at work today...it typically does!

For now, I shall dance on my peak because a valley may be around the corner...However, valleys normally have beautiful flowers, so they may not be so bad :)

Playing sports makes me happy

After another win in softball tonight (yeah, we are undefeated with 1 game to play before play-offs) I can't help but remember HOW MUCH I love playing sports. If there were ever a reason I would go back to high-school, and I DO mean this would be the ONLY reason, it would be to play sports year round. Those were the DAYS!

Nothing better than finishing the summer up with a full week of hell (literally, the week of volleyball training before try-outs were called HELL WEEK), volleyball in the fall, soccer in the winter (I'll come back to that) and then club volleyball in the spring! I remember the year I refrained from playing soccer because I was going to get a job instead...then I didn't end up getting a job until the season ended (enter Leatherbys Family Creamery)...I was SO pissed...WORST WINTER EVER!!!

My senior year I played all my sports and then went straight to work, it was no problem...Just because I went to work like a nasty pig, particularly during soccer season because we played in straight MUD and I would often go to work with mud covered legs under those navy blue slacks...haha, no one knew the difference!

Anyway, I swear, those days were so awesome...I was in great shape, I always felt so alive and I was doing things I loved nearly every day of the week...I need to get back into it...something...ANYTHING!! I am pretty sure my knees will protest constant usage if there is running involved but I would love to get back into indoor soccer...or volleyball...who is with me?

The Office

Maybe you'll call me too reliant on my computer, my email and most importantly, my Microsoft Outlook, but holy crap, my Outlook has been down ALL day and I cannot do a thing...ok, maybe I have accomplished a LITTLE bit, so I have NOT accomplished far more...does that even make sense?

Fortunately I had several things to do today that weren't computer related, such as a conference call (although the dial-in number and pass code were on an email...) my brother stopped by unexpectedly, which was a nice treat, a lunch meeting (I love CPK) and tonight, a concert (want a Fish tattoo?) so I can still do PART of my job...but I mean, no EMAIL?!?!?!

SO I find myself wondering the halls of my workplace aimlessly...what does everyone else do when their email is down?

• Some employees were watching a YouTube clip of that car commercial with the hamsters...you know the one...
• Our receptionist is doing her homework (good for her)
• Couple people were standing at the copy machine and staring at its display as if they had never seen a copy machine before
• Lots of closed office doors, BUT the lights were on, which means someone is home but they are probably on ESPN, facebook or target.com
• The cubicle homies have to be more discreet...They typically make phone calls and pretend it is a sales lead...yeah right
• Some cubbies don't bother, they just all gather around one person's cubicle and gab until our GM or GSM walk by and then they scatter like roaches when you turn the light on...BACK TO WORK EVERYONE!

All in all, I would say I have the best end of this deal... I have an office, no one supervises me and I can come and go as I please...so I blog...

Who needs E-MAIL?!

It is a good Saturday

As I sit here, lounging on my couch with my husband surrounded by a clean home, clean laundry and watching the Giants vs the Dodgers I have to sigh in contentment. A perfect Saturday, truly.

Yes, I got up and spent two hours cleaning the house and doing laundry, but that is ok. The effect is worth it! Now I have the rest of the weekend before me with no "chores" and a list full of relaxation. Derek had a particularly grueling week so he really needed to unwind.

I was slated to work all day yesterday and all day tomorrow which would have made for a super lame weekend, but alas, I am here, home spending time with my husband instead and loving every minute. We went out to breakfast with his mom and grandma at the Waffle House before I came home to tackle the house, which is a nice way to start the day.

He went out to run a few errands and bought a new tailgating/camping BBQ and came home to put that together. I started a new book post house cleaning...we are currently consuming ungodly amounts of Jelly Belly Flops that we picked up last weekend...

Tonight we are going to hang out with my parents while they watch a classic car parade up J Street and then head to dinner. It is always nice to see the 'rents...

A good Saturday? Maybe a perfect Saturday...He even brought me flowers home for no particular reason ;)

Busy, Tired, Grumpy but happily married

So I don't think it would have taken a rocket scientist to know that between Derek job and my job, we both work a few late nights, some early mornings and have a little grumpiness in our lives...

Shockingly enough, I think in the 4 months we have been married, I have come home more late nights than him and I am SO freakin grumpy when I work long days...I am not sure I am cut out for 14 hour work days...anyway, I digress.

We are busy, really really busy. Between totally being overloaded at work, playing softball (twice a week for him now) house hunting, trying to hit the gym, working late nights and having at LEAST 1-2 other night events come up per week, we are out and about nearly every evening. When we are at the grocery store on the weekends we try and figure out how many nights worth of dinners we are actually going to cook in the upcoming week...last weekend we determined 2 (out of 7...ridiculous)

All of that is to say that we are tired. Maybe I am over stepping my boundaries in speaking for Derek, but I think I can safely say he is pretty tired. I know I am grumpy as all get out most mornings, some evenings and I have thrown several elbows in the middle of the night :)

I can proudly say though, that I am still happily married. I know I have had my share of snippy comments and frustrated eye rolls when I am super tired and grumpy, but I am so thankful to be married to Derek. He is my constant source of joy, strength, laughter, encouragement, wisdom and guidance. He is my life partner and no matter what phase of life we are in, we are in it together and we'll get through it. Soon enough we'll have bought a house and softball will be over and work (hopefully) will settle down and we'll be bored to tears...maybe not, if we have a house then we'll have a DOG!!! If you thought I was going to say a baby, please refer to previous post.

What is so wrong with waiting?

So I got married...we are looking to buy a house. Why is the next question out of your mouth, "So when are you going to start having kids?"

Why do we have to start popping out kids?? Can I be married for a few years? For a YEAR? Maybe even for 6 months before I have to deal with pregnancy, morning sickness, mood swings and all the other BS that comes along with that?

Oh yeah and the joys of parenthood...blah blah blah. Save it...I am sure it is wonderful, but lets be honest...It will be wonderful in a year too...I am not missing out on ANY wonderful-ness because we are choosing to wait. If anything, I am enriching the experience that we are going to have because Derek and I will only be more in love, strong together and better equipped to be parents.

Why is there so much pressure to have kids right out of the shoot? Is THAT what marriage is for? The starting line to have children...sure it is a step in the right direction, but I would like to enjoy my husband for a few minutes before we are separated by endless noise, baths, TV cartoons, diapers, late night, soccer practice and referring the arguing between kids.

I love to come home from work, make a quite dinner and enjoy an evening on the couch with my husband, JUST THE TWO OF US. We have the freedom to go out, to hang with friends, to go to dinner, or out of town...no restrictions...we will never get this time back. I am going to enjoy it wile I can because once it is gone, it is GONE.

Have you heard that Trace Atkins song, "You're Gonna Miss This"
"You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so FAST. These are the good times, so take a good look around, you may not know this now...but you're gonna miss this"

Don't get me wrong, I am really looking forward to parenthood and raising children with Derek. I think we are going to be super awesome parents. I think we will be at our best when we have kids. However, make no mistake about it, I CAN wait to have kids...for now a little puppy will do. Now that, I cannot WAIT to have :)

Summer According to Janna

Once a month I submit a piece for my company newsletter. This month I wrote about summer foods and activities....I thought I would re-share here: ENJOY...

In honor of summer and the weather finally blowing past 100 I decided to come up with a list of the best summer foods/meals. As many of you may have noticed, I love to eat…I can often be caught walking the halls with food in my hands, a cup of oatmeal, a candy bar, a Tupperware full of fruit or whatever else is lying around…What can I say? Food is meant to be eaten! Also, I have included a list of the best summer activities for you to DO while enjoying these amazing foods for your reading entertainment.

Top 5 BEST summer foods:

1. Crisp Watermelon
2. Fresh White Corn
3. Nectarines
4. Frozen Yogurt (I like marshmallows and sprinkles on mine)
5. Cold Pasta Salad (Filled pasta is the best, then any kind of noodle pasta with an oil based dressing)

Best Summer Meal:

BBQ chicken
BBQ Corn & Asparagus
Watermelon
Baked or Mashed potatoes
Fresh salad
Frozen yogurt or blizzards for dessert

Top 5 FunnEST Summer Activities

1. Camping (“Camping” mean no showers, no bathrooms and no running water, anything else is just staying in a hotel with no walls)
2. Baseball games (Giants, A’s and Rivercats are all super fun)
3. Hiking (there are tons of places to hike around Northern CA)
4. BBQing & Swimming, a great “daycation” everyone knows SOMEONE with a pool…make friends. Or go to the lake
5. Day trip to Tahoe, Napa, Santa Cruz or the coast

It happens every year...

Do you smell that? That is the smell of funnel cake, pizza, nachos and deep fried EVERYTHING. The California State Fair...it happens every year...unfortunately. That may seem a BIT cynical, but for me, at least the last 6 years, the fair has meant long, sweltering hot work days full of annoying fair goers (maybe it was YOU), sticky children, endless lines of prize whores (yes whores) and more sweat than I can produce in a week.

There is the other, happy side of the fair when I get to go as a spectator, enjoy a glass of wine, a funnel cake and look at the animals...but that is over shadowed by the impending DOOM of working the fair 2-3 days every season....These last two years have been particularly rough because I have no staff to help cover my hours. I have to beg and plead my none promotional sales staff to spend a few hours in the heat. They don't do that. They don't know how. I field tons of phone calls when their lines get too long or they lose a pen. Maybe the camera doesn't work or the stereo turned off (it was unplugged). It is during those calls I think, "I should have just worked all 10 hours myself."

So for many of you the Fair may conger up fun, childhood memories and you MAY even look forward to it. Good-for-you...

I say, DIE FAIR DIE!!!

Dear God, Help me not to be FREAKING religious today

I love listening to my dad teach. I think he is funny, witty but most importantly, typically has something useful to say, something people need to hear, but isn't afraid to say things that people may not want to hear. Today at church he used that line, "Oh God, please help me not to be freaking religious today." As he emphasized RELIGIOUS he went up onto his toes like he does when he is making a point...I am not even sure if he realizes that he does it, but he has my whole life.

One of the things that I love about my family, the "pastor's family" that we are, is that we aren't religious, we just love Jesus. If you don't know, there CAN BE a difference. Not everyone who is religious loves Jesus and not everyone who loves Jesus is religious. When I say the word "religious" I suppose it means different things to different people, especially based on how YOU were raised, but I see your standard A-type of religion as a very negative thing. Legalistic, head-strong, hurtful, hypocritical...the list goes on. I bet you have a few words to add to it. Have you been hurt by a religious organization? I couldn't name to you all of the people I know who have.

It hurts me every time I read a story about another pastor, priest or other leader who has been caught cheating on his wife, molesting children, embezzling money or doing whatever else it is that the news is full of these days. I am not sure if they realize the effect their actions have on those who attend their congregations. Obviously they are selfish, otherwise they wouldn't be doing what they are doing, so maybe they don't even care. My point is this, because we put so much faith in man, the man who stands in front on Sunday (or whatever day you attend) who leads us in prayer, who sings the songs, who teaches the words, because we have chosen to put our trust in him, instead of God, when man fails us....We walk away and never look back.

All of the sudden you don't trust GOD because MAN let you down...why? Why is it GOD's fault? Yes, God calls men to lead, to gather His people together to worship, to fellowship and to pray together, but He never said that we should trust that man above Himself. God will never let you down. You may think He has, but His way are not our ways, His answer is not always YES, sometimes it is NO or not yet.

Have you ever heard that Garth Brook's song; Unanswered Prayers? "Sometimes I thank God, for Unanswered Prayers, remember when you're talking to the Man upstairs, that just because He may not answer doesn't mean He don't care. Sometimes God's greatest gifts are Unanswered Prayers."

I strayed a bit from why I started this post, but it matters little. My original point was this; being religious will get you NOWHERE...if you are going to draw those in your circle of influence to God, you have to love them. That is it. Love them unconditionally. That love may look a little bit different from person to person, but remember this; what if you are the ONLY person that they ever encounter who could lead them to Jesus? Will you do it? Or will you hurt them with your words, with your actions, with your judgmental attitude as has every other "Christian" that they have crossed paths with? If you love them, Jesus will lead them...

Being a Professional...today seemed like a waste

I hate letting people down. It doesn't matter if you are my friend, my family or someone I hardly know. If I committed to doing something with you or for you, I follow through...I don't like flakes and I don't want to BE a flake.

Today I let a client down and I feel terrible. It was slightly out of my control as I ended up being double booked for meetings with out having my schedule consulted, but still, I feel terrible. They were upset, I was upset and it was a lame situation. Somehow I feel like I SHOULD have been able to move heaven and earth to make it right...pull an extra employee out of nowhere to cover me when I couldn't be two places at one time.


Today was one of those days that peaked my frustration of having very little resources at my disposal...I had no one to send in my place to either meeting/event. To the party that was left in the lurch, "I don't have staff to cover me, so I have to cancel on you" sounds like a pithy excuse, but it is true. There was NO ONE else and the other meetings took priority (money rules the world right?)

What could I have done differently? How could I have avoided this situation? I know I need to let it go, but I am fairly sure I have not heard the end of it quite yet. There may be some lingering effects from the shortfalls today...some lost money (although more money gained from the other meetings, hence the decision) hurt feelings...

Life as a professional? I guess that is just life...

Celebrating 28 for DAYS (not 28 days)!

Well, I am another year older, wiser, wrinklier and grouchier...actually, that last one isn't true. I am happy. I am content. I am loved.

As with most years I have managed to string out my birthday celebrations for at least a week...as I think everyone should try to do. It is a must, really...

I began with a fun little dinner at Logan's Roadhouse with some of my girl friends. We made the decision SUPER last minute, literally the night before, to go to dinner so not all were able to make it, but we had a lot of fun! I am a big fan of Logan's take on the Long Island Ice Tea...I tried the Blue Bayou this time...Tara brought a mousse cake and they gave me their best "YEEEEEEE HAW!"

They messed up almost every one's food, but we rolled with the punches. Things got a little interesting towards the end because the much anticipated call came from the Banea's announcing that baby Baneas was about to head into the world and Big JoD needed to head on over to take care of the youngin's.

Saturday morning, my actual birthday, I had the traditional Zapara family birthday breakfast. We make this amazing breakfast pastry called "Bubble Wreath" that consists on Bisquick biscuit mix rolled into little balls, dipped in butter, rolled in cinnamon sugar and layered than baked in a bunt cake pan...My mom typically makes them, but because I insisted on leftovers, I made one as well so that we would have two (plus I got a pan for our wedding that I wanted to break in ;)

My mom's signature birthday table is decorated with various printed plates, napkins, party hats and blowers....she loves to decorate the tables, she is so cute! We had my brother's family there with us, so our party of 10 gathered in my parents backyard for brunch and it was wonderful.

We set up a little buffet table with the Bubble Wreath, my dad's famous breakfast potatoes, Kendra's egg dish and fresh fruit...I think I am still full!! After we ate and visited the forced me to open my presents...Derek had already presented me with the most wonderful and thoughtful gift of the day; a basketful full, and I do mean FULL of books that he hand selected. There must have been 20 books. He knows I love to read and that I have been remiss not to have any books at our house. He scoured a few new and used book stores and pulled together a fabulous collection that should keep me busy for at least a month or two!! ( I am currently half way through The Boston Strangler...don't judge me)

My mom gave me exactly what I asked for: My body spray from Victoria's Secret, lotion and she included a gift card...NICE. She also gave me books, which is a love that her and I share. We typically pass books back and forth. In fact, I picked out a few of the books from the pile Derek gave me that i thought she might enjoy and brought them over for her to borrow. Then I open a bag with shot gun shells in it...

At first thought it seemed reasonable because Derek has a gun and we always need shells...then...

Turns out my dad decided to give me his old .12 gauge pump action shotgun...wow...SWEET! The Jr. Zapara family blessed me with a gift card to Sports Authority which will work perfectly for a gun case! My mother wanted this picture taken because she thinks I have two sides to my personality, or perhaps I am just incredibly WELL ROUNDED!

After breakfast Derek took me golfing, which I haven't had the opportunity to do in forever! My dad and brother came along and we went to Land Park. It was a hot day, but beautiful and we had a really nice time. Next, Derek and I cleaned up and he took me downtown to a place neither one of us had ever been to, Aioli. Wow, the Sangria and Tapas were AMAZING!!

After dinner we headed over to Hamburger Patty's to visit our friend Rene and have dessert. We made quick work of a brownie sundae. When were were at dinner, we noticed that there were a lot of people walking around dressed like Zombies....that is pretty weird, even for downtown! It was 2nd Saturday, so Downtown Sacramento was packed, but ZOMBIES? So as we are hanging out at Patty's all of the sudden a mass processional of Zombies marches up J street...there must have been 200 of them...what...the...hell? No offense to people who like drama (I took it in 7th grade) but seriously, these were all the drama kids that were outcasts in high-school...really really weird...

Needless to say, I had a fabulous birthday pre-day and DAY and I have so many wonderful friends and family members. I was treated to lunch today at California Pizza Kitchen by my mother in law and I am going out to drinks with some MORE friends Thursday(who couldn't make it last Friday) Thank you everyone for making me feel like a QUEEN! A special thank you and I love you to my wonderful husband Derek who always puts thought into everything and goes the extra mile to make me feel loved and special. Today he presented me with ANOTHER birthday present that just came in he mail, the creamer that goes with our dish set; the final peice to the entire set! ( I know, I am a housewares NERD)

The King has been out-classed

Well this will be my first sports related blog, but I DO follow the sporting world...

The actions of LeBron James yesterday were selfish, classless and immature. Not that I was a hard-core fan anyway, but he completely lost my respect in light of his behavior. To string along your fans and your franchise for days on end, only to hold a one hour, world-wide press conference which you arrogantly pass off as an attempt to raise funds for charity, in order to draw MORE attention to yourself is beyond comprehension....

First of all, everyone was closely watching your actions ANYWAY. You're LeBron James, and a free agent. People are slightly interested. Having a one hour "DECISION SPECIAL", as they called it, was redundant. It further angered me that he tried to play it off like he was doing a GOOD deed and raising money for charity. Let's be honest, there are SO many other ways to do that, not the least of which is digging into your "not-so-shallow" pockets and doling out some funds yourself.

He then drags out the announcement until he leaves Cleveland with NO options in the Free Agency market...they are S-O-L now. Thanks LeBron, for giving us no heads up so that we could snag one of these other guys...and people wonder why Cavs majority owner, Dan Gilbert, wrote this cute little letter to the fans of Cleveland...its a good read, I suggest it. How honestly refreshing. Yes, he will likely totally regret it today and issue an apology...but the message was sent. Yes LeBron, shake the dust from your feet when you leave Cleveland, because you are NO LONGER welcome here...he sure knows how to burn bridges...

Don't mistake my meaning...He had every right to leave Cleveland. He gave it 7 good years there. He tried his hardest to win that city a ring. It didn't happen. He has the right to move on...by ALL means...my point is, this wasn't the way to handle it...

On the flip side, consider Kevin Durant. Durant was drafted #2 overall by the Seattle Super Sonics, turned Oklahoma City Thunder, in 2007. He came straight out of high-school just like "KING" James, was an all-American athlete, won the NBA Rookie of the Year award in his debut season and was predicted to be a game changer. He has turned out to be be all of that and more. However, one thing Durant is NOT, is an attention seeker...

Durant was eligible to extend his contract with the Thunder beginning Thursday. Durant has always been open about his love for the Thunder, his teammates and their fan base. As soon as he could, he sat down with management and signed a five-year extension to stay with the Thunder, even WAIVING his 5Th year opt out option! Then he quietly Tweeted his decision to his fan base on Twitter. No long-drawn out discussions, no guessing, no one-hour special. In a nutshell, Kevin Durant handled himself like a mature professional; and the kid is only 21. He will be holding a press conference today to speak publicly about his decision, but I think that is the next natural move.

Kevin is not a better man because he stayed with his team. He is a better man because he handled his business with his team first, with the public second and without making it about himself over and above everything and damn everyone and everything else to hell...

LeBron, you were out-classed by a younger, less experienced player...Durant gets my vote and you only receive my pity....

What a Difference!!

After a major disappointing experience with our chosen first Realtor, we met today with a new Realtor, recommended to us (and USED by) some close friends of ours. We knew that they had been pleased with her, so we are hoping for the same experience. So we had our first meeting with her today where we went through EVERYTHING....I mean everything.

I suppose in Derek's world it might have been called the "Discovery" phase....She wanted to know everything about our house hunting experience, what we are looking for, our current situation, our expectations, and on and on and on...She then told us about what she'll be doing, what we can expect from her, from different kinds of sales, time frames etc....WOW

This is where I mention that we didn't do ANY of this with our prior Realtor...we never sat down and discussed any personal anything. We had one sit down meeting about houses in the area and what their status was (active, short sale, pending etc)

The differences were glaring...seriously. I left there feeling so good about where we go from here. Now I feel like we are in the hands of someone who knows what they are doing, someone who cares what WE want, who wants to stay in contact with us and who will do everything in her power to get us into the house we want. Quite a concept isn't it??

We parted ways with her promising to have like 10 different things done for us before midnight...haha I think Derek scared her with his description of how annoyed he was with the other guy...just kidding. Maybe she is just doing her job. I guess I just don't know what that looks like!! Stayed tuned for more adventures in house hunting!

Round #2

We were warned when we began our house hunting that we may use and/or "go through" multiple Realtors...seems a bit silly but, come to find out, TRUE. Tomorrow night we are going to meet with Realtor number 2...and hopefully the last one we'll need! I'll admit, as you may have caught on in my last post, I was pretty pissed with our last experience...

Not that I have any prior house purchasing experience to draw from, but I have some expectations about my Realtor and what they are getting paid for...top of the list? Do everything in your power to show me the houses I ask to see...Coming in at a close second is answering your email in a timely manner...this is the age of computers...not to mention, I know you make enough money to sport a Blackberry...those emails are going straight to your cell phone...WRITE BACK!

Anyway, hopefully we'll get set-up with this new chick and get this process going again...there are several more houses we would like to see inside of, and that one house (Trinity) I liked is still on our minds...you never know. The bottom line is, we need to know what our options are and we need the best possible person to help us find them out...hopefully we are on the right track now!

If not, I might have to kill someone :)

Just show me the HOUSE!

Why do people hire Realtors? What is a Realtors job?If I want to see inside a particular house (if it is possible) than show me inside the damn house as soon as you can arrange it! Don't try and talk me out of this or that because it MIGHT make more work for YOU.
I am PAYING you to work...DO YOUR JOB....

Wow...ok...that rant, as "out of left field" as it may have seemed, was SO needed.

Short Sales...a pain in the neck...yes

Sitting available all over the Greater Sacramento area (particularly in West Sacramento where we are looking) you better believe it.

So when I ask to go see inside of a Short Sale home, don't tell me that I should stay away from short sales...just make the call and show me the house. I'll decide what I should or should not stay away from. First up on my list will likely be you and then you'll be wondering what kind of advice you SHOULD have given....

I guess today I will be researching a new Realtor instead of the next house I want to look inside...not that I am angry or anything...

A Firework-less 4th

I know that Independence Day is about America, Freedom and all that stuff...but let's be honest, it is also about FIREWORKS! I love fireworks...I think they are the best...Part of that might have to do with my pyromaniac tendencies, but I think they are fun, beautiful and mysterious.

On the 4th, it is fun to do fireworks at home, but I also love to watch sky displays as well...Yes they are romantic, but that is hardly the reason I love them!!

This year was the first year that I can EVER remember not seeing fireworks of some sort on the Independence Day weekend...seriously, in my whole life...

Yes we had the opportunity, shoot, I probably could have stepped out my door and stood in the parking lot of my complex and glimpsed the fireworks being shot off at Cal Expo, but I didn't. We could have joined in on some neighborhood parties with friends and family, but we didn't. I even could have gone to my work and took advantage of a primo balcony seat to watch the Cal Expo display from across the street...but we didn't.

My point is, it is my own fault. Derek gave me ample opportunity to make up my mind about what I wanted to do, but I didn't say any of those things...so instead we had dinner and rented a movie and I missed out on the fireworks...it made me a little bit sad. The bright side is, I learned my lesson...I want fireworks on the 4th, either at home on the street or in the public sky...give me freedom or give me death, but I want to see those fireworks!!

Loving your family out loud

As anyone who knows me KNOWS, I lived with my parents (yes really) until I was 27 years old and walked straight into my husbands arms...amazing right? I didn't have any failed college dorms/apartment experimentation's that forced me back home. I never moved out, ran out of money and came running home to the comfort of a full refrigerator and 2 sets of laundry machines...(which now, looking back is priceless, seriously)

I thought about moving out on several occasions, but alas, it never materialized. In hindsight, it was a blessing and the best possible choice. Yes, at times it was slightly juvenile to admit to co-workers, post-college, that I STILL lived with my parents, even thought I had a degree, a full-time job and no car payment...haha (which I inevitable followed up with "suckers" under my breath). It was funny, but more often than not, the response was, "wow, how do you do it? I could NEVER live with my parents still. We would KILL each other."

Truth is, I get along amazingly well with my parents. They are such great people we just don't really fight. There is no reason to. If we disagree, we figure it out without the yelling/shouting and door slamming that was so prevalent among my friends and their parents growing up. They made it easy for me to live there as an adult and have freedom and not feel restricted, but let me know that they still loved me, cared about me and were there for me when I needed them.

It is funny to think that after living with them for 27 years, that I would miss them after only being out of the house for 2 months. Honestly, the last several months I lived there, I hardly saw them at ALL. Our schedules were so different and I wasn't home during the day much...but those times when we could catch up were priceless. It is in that mind-set that I try and set a time every few days to give them a call (either by catching them at home together or calling each of their cell phones) and just checking in. It doesn't have to be a LONG conversation, but enough to give them an update and to get an update.

I care what is going on in my family and I know they are interested in what Derek and I are doing. In that same vein, we also try and schedule time to spend with them, dinners, games, whatever it may be so that we don't let too much time go by without seeing each other. I love my family and I want to be near them, be with them and love them out loud. I don't ever want to look back and wonder how I let them go, how we lost touch. I am confident that this will ever be the case in my family...we see the value in our time together, in being involved in each others lives...

Don't lose your family...find a way to love them out loud...

I think I'm in love

Ok, enough of the mellow drama, but seriously....

House Hunting Night #1 June 29, 2010: we looked at 3 houses

House #1 was the house that we thought was going to be IT! In the perfect neighborhood, had a good bedroom/bathroom count, good square footage, good price, a serviceable backyard, the pictures of the kitchen looked good...

Reality: With the exception of the kitchen, the common spaces were TINY and all separated by walls and/or the staircase. You walk into the formal living room...did I mention it was tiny? Not even large enough for a regular couch (notice extra small couches in picture?).

Then you hit the staircase...you barley squeeze by that in the hallway before you walk into the formal dining room...again, t-i-n-y and completely boxed in by walls. Go past THAT wall and you walk into the family room/kitchen area.

To be fair, at least they were connected, as previously stated, is on my wish list... (This picture was taken FROM the kitchen looking into the family room, again with the tiny tiny couches...)
HOWEVER, the actual space dedicated to the family room was really small. The kitchen was the only redeeming feature of the downstairs....good layout, nice size, nice look....
The backyard would need serious work, but that would be ok...

Upstairs was a different story, nice sized Master-bedroom, GREAT Master bathroom layout...We were slightly peeved that the other two bedrooms were LOCKED...ten to one odds the owners were locked inside and slightly upset we were there since their house is on a short-sale....can you blame them?

Overall rating? 6 out of 10

THEN we drive to house #2...cue drum roll....

This place was amazing...perfect and I do mean PERFECT layout...really nicely landscaped yard that we could change if we want or keep some features, great kitchen, nice built-in wood cabinets in several of the rooms, 3 car garage (but separate...a two car garage and then a single garage...have you seen those?)

Great kitchen/Family room combo, which of course is SO important to me...Kitchen had nice granite counter tops, lots of cabinet space and a place for a kitchen table. When you first walk in the door, you walk into this HUGE great room that is a living room/dining room combo...absolutely huge...such a great entertaining house.

Only 3 bedrooms/3 bathrooms BUT BUT BUT it had a den, WHICH is serviceable as an office, which is what the 4Th bedroom would be for anyway....

So whats the problem? Hmmmm....this house was a bit pricier that we originally were thinking of paying. Still within our budget, for sure, but who wants to spend more money than they HAVE to?
Then again...who wants to settle for a house that isn't perfect?
Would we need to make any changes? I think we would want to throw some hard wood flooring in a few places, do a little work in the backyard and it would need a good dose of color on the walls...it is STARK white/cream through the house....I mean EVERYWHERE...I need some color in my life!

This house gets a 9 out of 10 and only because of the price...

House #3 isn't even worth blogging about. No one should have a Fish pond on the side of their drive way in West Sacramento....I mean seriously....

If you care, stay tuned for more "Adventures in House Hunting"

Getting my hopes up...

The trouble with house hunting is...you get your hopes up. Inevitably, they are going to be dashed at some point! Tonight we are actually going to look INSIDE of houses for the first time. Sunday I thought we were going to, but we weren't given the chance...I suppose that was a small hope dashed. Tonight, we are going to visit a house that peaked both Derek and mine's interest IMMEDIATELY...not good right? Destined for disappointment :(

Remember that "short-list" of wants that I wrote out a few blogs back...I believe (from the pictures and neighborhood) that this house fits the bill! That in itself is encouraging. So what is the downside? Well, it is a short-sale so that sucks...but what house isn't these days? Just means that we may be waiting months before we hear back anything...if we make it to the offer phase.

While lying in bed last night, listening to those stupid dogs upstairs from us scratching on the floor or whatever the hell they do every night, I tried not to think about what it would be like to have our own house. Then it would be MY stupid dog scratching on the floor!! S-W-E-E-T!

No, but seriously, the thought of having a yard to hang out in, and a much bigger space to entertain in is SO appealing to me. Despite Derek's prickly demeanor, he LOVES to entertain and we want a place to do that in. A backyard to BBQ and throw the ball in. A living room to gather around the HD TV and watch a Saturday night UFC PPV...

Most importantly, we want a dog and a place to keep a dog )a.k.a a backyard). For those of you who are sappy, yes, we even want kids someday. However, we never wanted to have kids in our condo...we are too claustrophobic with just the two of us...not saying we are anywhere near ready for kiddos, but at least with a house we would be PREPARED for the unexpected!!

To me, a house isn't just a owned piece of property, it is a gateway into the next phase of our life. A key to the future that Derek and I have waited SO long to build together. Yes, we are building it now and loving every minute, but we are holding back...we don't want to hold back anymore.
I want future building FREEDOM!

Ah Monday...

There is something amazing and magical about Monday that makes it unlike ANY other day of the week. Is it my over indulgence in weekend fun hangover? Not getting up at 6:15am for two days grumpiness? The knowledge that I have 5 straight days of co-workers, computers and dress-up? Or could it be that everyone drives like idiots on Monday morning?

Yes, yes, yes and YES....Also, in my job, because I periodically work on the weekends, as I did this weekend, I lose a full day of weekend-ness and get the two day vacation SHAFT! It throws off my entire weekend mind-set. It is impossible for me to leave work on Friday and turn off my work brain knowing that I am just going to have to fire it back up on Saturday morning...getting up at 7am doesn't help either.

Needless to say, this morning after peeling myself out of bed, pouring myself into the shower and piecing an outfit together (I didn't exactly break any fashion records today, trust me) I made it to the car.

So we have all heard the term "Sunday drivers" right? Does anyone feel me on the "Monday-morning" drivers? I understand that we are all driving in a sleep-induced fog and barely making it, but seriously, can we all pull our head out of our...you know...long enough to drive to work without a complete driving FAIL!?

I must have seen 3 near-accidents this morning, 4 merging issues, 3 people run red lights, 2 people not GO at a green light and one guy just really pissed me off when it was his turn to go at the stop sign and he just sat there looking at me like I was the idiot...as if everyone forgot how to drive over the weekend.

Ok, that was my vent...head has now shrunk back to normal size. Despite all of that, I made it to work in one piece only to sit at my desk and stare at my computer as if I have never seen it before...Monday? FAIL

This isn't going to be easy

Not that I ever thought it WOULD be, but house hunting is not going to be easy. Our very first day turned out to be a disappointment as our Realtors were not able to meet with us, so we couldn't see inside of any homes. Instead, we took the opportunity to drive around ourselves and look at the outside of some houses that were on our "list".

It is frustrating because it seems like every house has something that we would consider "a deal-breaker". Our short list of deal breakers?
Next door (or close down the street from) a school
Next to empty lots
Small or no backyard
Super dumpy yards in the neighborhood....

Call us picky, elitists or whatever you will, but this isn't a small decision. We are talking a HUGE purchase and potentially a house we might raise our children in. I think we have the right to be picky. That said, it just makes it hard and frustrating. I would love to just drive up to a home and go, "Yes, this is it. There is NOTHING wrong with it that can't be fixed or changed, it is in our price range and has everything we want."

I know that isn't reality. I have watched enough of my friends go through this process to know it is slightly painful so I know what to expect. So what DO I want in a house?
Well since you asked...
Ideally:
4b/3b
Spacious kitchen
Double sinks in the Master bathroom
Room for a Cal King sized bed
A family room/living room that is open or connected to the kitchen
Large enough backyard for a BIG doggy (or two)
A bathtub that isn't a shower/tub combo

That is my short list. I don't thinking I am asking A LOT, but maybe I am. There are things I am willing to compromise on, some things I won't. Only time will tell what I will have to compromise on, but I do know one thing. God has a plan, a purpose and a will for our lives. Even something like house hunting does not escape His attention. He has a house for us already and He will lead us to it in His perfect timing. I just need to remember that and trust in Him...THAT is always the hard part! Jeremiah 29:11